Life altering Decisions

7/04/2008 Estreitta 0 Comments

Well my friends for the past few months, I really felt like I was going through a midlife crisis... I've had this constant struggle between my spirit and my head. About April, near the end of my radiation treatments, I began evaluating my life looking at what I have and haven't accomplished....and knew SOMETHING had to change but I wasn't sure what. I was the only thing standing between me and doing what I know God Called me to do…
According to "midlife crisis" is defined as:..:

A period of personal emotional turmoil and coping challenges that some people encounter when they reach middle age, accompanied by a desire for change in their lives, brought on by fears and anxieties about growing older

I think this definition is pretty much how I felt. Although it was more about the fact that I was turning 33 and in the last 15 years I haven't done much to account for what I have done with my life. During this self evaluation phase I came to the realization that I forgot about pursuing my passions.. the visions and dreams God gave me as a young 13 yr old Girl. That young tenacious and bold girl was willing to do anything or go anywhere God asked me to go... but somewhere along the way I let life take center stage and stopped pursuing those dreams and visions and got preoccupied with living the great American Dream (Buying unnecessary and frivolous things, stacking up credit card bills, just creating more and more debt). My focus became attaining professional success rather than seeking God for spiritual fulfillment.

Remember the blog I posted about a month ago regarding that Blog I said I was going to do something about it… that is where the desire for something more became stronger and stronger…

Well after much conversation with a few friends and support from my adorable hubby, I decided to do something about it... The first step was to resign at my work (Which I did today and will be there through the end of July).

Next I plan to take time to focus and get clear direction from God. We have a House of Prayer ministry affiliated with the church that we attend and I plan to spend a week there seeking the Lord. I am REALLY excited about what is ahead. I know this is one of the best decisions I have ever made and I feel so Very Free. Like a HUGE Weight has been lifted off of me. God is GOOD!

Really the possibilities are endless and with God all things are possible.

My goal is to journal and share during this process.

Psalm 91 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

in the Presence of God
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation."

"Break Free" by Decyfer Down

Found a hole and fell inside myself
This emptiness by my own hand
so constricted, self inflicted
It's more than I can stand

Got to break free from this disease
In my core without a doubt a doubt
I just want more
Life free from holes down deep inside
I need to find

I push to keep these walls from caving in
Trying though I cannot fill the space
I had excuses, it never fuses
It's hard for me to face


Myspace Comments:

good for you! i'll be praying for you now and through July and in your time of really seeking God! good call!

Posted by Ranny on Friday, June 27, 2008 - 3:17 PM


Thank you Andrea... I am looking forward to see what God does with me next!

Posted by Twinkle Twinkle Estreitta on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 12:04 AM


Yes.. I remember that passionate young lady and I'm glad to have her back :) I believe in you! You are a shining star and I'm glad to have you as a friend for life (eternal)! I do have one comment though... I'm no where near mid-life and you're only 6 months older than me... so don't even think about it!

Posted by M♥NDY on Tuesday, July 08, 2008 - 6:26 PM


Hey girl! Sounds familiar! I'm quitting my job to focus on Jesus, my house, and doing a little inner healing. I hope to train to be a spiritual director in a couple years. Maybe we can pray each other through our transitions!

Posted by H. on Tuesday, July 08, 2008 - 10:03 PM


Absolutely Heather!!! Let me know how and where God brings you to your next step!!!

Posted by Twinkle Twinkle Estreitta on Tuesday, July 08, 2008 - 11:09 PM