Life Lesson #6: Feed Your Faith Starve Your DoubtsLife Lesson #6: Feed Your Faith Starve Your Doubts
This lesson I have had to remind myself of lately. Many of my friends will know that I have been dealing with difficulties in getting pregnant.
For the last 8 years, I have had many health diagnoses that have made getting pregnant a little difficult. Here’s a quick rundown:
- In 2003, I started talking to my doctor about working on getting pregnant, she prescribed clomid, a fertility drug.
- Then after a few months of trying that, I started having gallbladder attacks due to gallstones and had to have my gallbladder removed. Then I needed to wait, so my body could recover.
- Then we moved to Texas in the summer of 2004 to be closer to my dad because he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.
- Then I tried some alternative health treatments, and nothing worked.
- Then in August of 2007, I was diagnosed with Stage 0 Ductal Carcinoma In Situ breast cancer. After 2 lumpectomies (November of 2007) and 8 weeks of radiation (April 2008), my Doctor said I needed to wait at least 3 years before attempting to get pregnant to allow my body to heal.
- Then in 2009 when the 3 years were up, I had some uterine hemorrhaging, and had to have a surgical procedure to correct the problem.
- Then in February of 2010, I started seeing a Fertillity Endocrinologist Dr. and the battery of test began, everything you could imagine to try to see why i wasn’t ovulating or getting pregnant.
- Then in April of 2010 I was Diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and Type 2 Diabetes. and Started seeing an Endocrinologist to get the diabetes under control.
- Then after about 6 months of dieting and trying really hard to get it under control everything was looking good for me to start the fertility treatments.
- Then in September my Endocrinologist got test results back and my calcium levels were really high and my Vitamin D levels were severely low, and my A1C level jumped from 5.6 back to 7 which is not good and she said to put things on hold. Then she took personal leave.
- Then Jan 6, 2011 she came back and I had an appointment with her, and because of the high-levels of calcium she thought I might have Primary Hyperparathyroidism, and did another round of tests, and the only thing to remedy it is surgery
I know that was a lot info, but that has been my life for the last 8 years. Last week, I came the realization that I had allowed all the diagnoses to feed my doubt and starve my faith instead.
Let’s be real, it is so hard to hear one thing after another and keep the faith in the midst of trials and tribulations!
I quit “being sure of what I had hoped for” in God to do what He said he would do in me. I allowed my circumstances to keep me in a rut and get me down and depressed. I stopped dwelling on His Promises and fixed my eyes on the have-nots and the why-nots.
In Romans it says:
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.Whatever we hear, we begin to believe. If we are listening to God’s word our Faith will be built up and we believe beyond a shadow of even an inkling of doubt that God will do what He says He’s going to do. You have to set your eyes on the good things.
(Romans 10:17, New King James Version)
When I was in college, the pastor of the church I was attending would say “You have to feed your faith and starve your doubts.” I had my roommate Theresa write that statement with her nice penmanship and I put it on my mirror so I could read it everyday. It helped me through a time in my life when I was learning to hear God’s voice and seeking clarity in my life.
Two Wednesdays ago, I was feeling really low and dwelling on the recent diagnosis i had received from my Endocrinologist. I knew I just had to go to church that night and go to The Well (its our midweek service at out church for adults). So after my Zumba class I drove to church, and spent some time in the Youth Service for their worship (Erik was actually playing that night) then headed over to the Well. From the moment I walked in I new it was where I needed to be. Every word that Ps. Niles Holsinger was preaching spoke directly with everything I was dealing with. Then he said, “There are some of you in here that have lost hope and faith in Gods Promises and even quit praying for things, be cause the situation seems so impossible, But I tell you this is a year of Fulfillment! God is going to bring those things to Pass!”
Yup that was me… I got so discouraged that i had even stopped praying about my personal health issues, and I even stopped praying for my brother to finally get healed from this 12-yr battle of bipolar. I know my God is Bigger than all of this junk that the enemy has tried to throw at me.
I then went to have the Healing team pray for me… and I have to say that this cloud that had come over me back in September just dissipated and I was filled with so much peace. It all came back, i had the faith to believe for the impossible again!!!
About a week before I had sent an email to Ps. Laurinda (Sr. Pastor with her Husband Ps. Jon of my church) with some of the things i had been dealing with. She then asked to meet with me to lunch. It was great to connect with her and she gave me so many nuggets of wisdom. I left so encouraged that when I tweeted this:
Clairity through wise counsel is the next best thing to getting it directly from the Lord! #ilovemypastors
Practical ways to Feed your Faith in midst of a trial:
- Meditate on a Scripture verse or a biblical account of someone who went through a similar difficulty. If you start with the whole chapter Hebrews 11, it’s known as the “Hall of Faith” there you will find many people who struggled and always God redeemed his promises every single time.
- Make time to devote yourself in worship and prayer to seek the face of God and soak in his presence.
- Talk to someone (your spouse, a good friend, your parents, a pastor or leader) who you can be completely real with and they can and will build you up, pray for you and walk with you during your process
- Read a good Faith-based book that’s good for the soul. Sometimes you need a really good laugh or read something so profound you are wrapped in thought for days. I recommend any book by Barbara Johnson, All Cracked Up by Patsy Clairmont, On the Anvil by Max Lucado.
- Listen or watch to your favorite preacher or Christian speaker. I recommend watching Andy Andrews - The Seven Decisions (2005), Dr. Kevin Leman is a Great Speaker on issues dealing with marriage and family (and he is HILARIOUS), Jack Deere really teaches on a lot of practical topics and they offer most of his sermons on the church he pastors website, I also like hearing to John & Lisa Bevere, Joyce Meyers, Ps. Chuck Swindoll, Dr. Miles Monroe and you can find alot of resources on Focus on the Family’s and Lifechurch.tv’s Websites. I know I am always encouraged when I hear my Pastor, Jon Dunn, speak he is always so edifying and you can get the sermons on itunes or the church’s website.
- Believe Gods Word! In the midst of anything you may go through weather its your finances, family, or future, You have to believe that GOD is who He says He is in His Word. He is faithful to complete the work he has begun in you!
If we used the same amount of faith we've used for miracles to discover the presence of God, we'd have more miracles. For faith sees. And faith discovers. – Bill Johnson