the Journey of my LifeThings have been interesting lately. It feels like i am somewhat at a crossroads in my life and i really do not have any clue of which road to take because i see so many yet no map or signs or anything of which is the right choice.
my mind is so jumbled with so many ideas, thoughts, dreams, and visions. I am remembering the times i have been here be before. I am a little more grownup and time and life has toughen me up a bit. I am not scared or even anxious about what lies ahead, the tug of war i feel in side of me is more of a mystery to me than anything.
Last week I think i felt a little apathetic. I slept all day and watched BBC murder Mysteries all night. I was so unmotivated to do anything. I really didn't think about much...
When I stepped out on this Journey i felt called to take, i was so excited and ready to take on the world. I think I let what happened to my Brother get me a little distracted and annoyed with life. I remember thinking, just when we think everything is going great this rug gets pulled out from under us everytime. I didn't feel very anxious or worried about my Brother, I just want him to get better so he can do something productive and fulfilling with his life. i digress...
Last week while talking to Iliah, we were discussing the reality that we were NEVER promised tommorow, that is why living today is so very important. This Journing of Life is numbered so every second of every minute of every hour we have to make it matter... we have to do something with what God has given us otherwise we are living a pointless life.
Today I was reminded of this watching a 9-11 Special on National Geographic Channel. It was a detailed accound of the Days events. All the emotions flooded back to me as i remembered where and what I was doing on that day. Then I thought to myself... none of those people knew when they woke up that morning that they were going Die.. (well except for the terrorists) I wonder if anyone had any regrets of things they wish they had done with thier life...
This morning was was the most amazing service at Church. The Youth Pastor Spoke about Three Confessions we make:
1.) We confess to make Jesus Lord of our Life
2.) We confess our sins to one another
3.) We confess our testimony to all at listen.
It was a very engaging message. then at the end the most moving thing i have experienced in a long time happened...
The Youth Pastor had instructed about 60 people to come up to the front of the church and they were all holding card board with writing on it (a lot like the "will work for Food Signs you see at exits") each person held a sign that was applicable to them here are a few that i remember (not verbatum of course):
a woman held a sign that said
I had 4 misscaragesand her husbands sign said:
I started to believe the lie that we would never be able to have a child
she turned it over and it said:
We now Have a beautiful son
He turned it over and it said
I believe God is Always Faithful~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a young girl stands up and shows a sign that says:
Depression and Fear tried to Cripple me
Then she Turned it around And it said:
I have overwelming Joy that gives me Strength Daily
A little Girl sign said:
They told my Mom I would have down syndrome
The Mom's sign Said:
Mom tuned over and it said
I knew God would heal my babyThe Little Girls Sign said:
And Look at me now~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three little Kids each hold one sign that said:
Abused, Abandoned and Rejected
They Turned the sign over and it said:
Adopted into a family.. then the dates they were adopted
A woman stood with a Sign that said:
I prayed for 30 years that My Husband would come To churchThe husband Held a Sign:
I felt alone and rejected by God
The Wifes Sign said:
The husband's Sign
God Healed and Saved me 10 yrs ago
IT went on and on one person after another sharing how God Restored each of these dear people.
I looked over at erik a few times and we were both teary eyed.
It was a beautiful expression of God's Goodness and Faithfulness
I feel like i am rambling here... but as i said my brain is thinking about a billion things all at the same time and it is late or early what ever way you look at it.
I would appreciate your continued prayers!!!
He Came Church and Gave his Life to The Lord
Doctors said I should have an abortion