The D-Word Revisted

4/19/2007 Estreitta de Kluetz 1 Comments

Lately I have been thinking about how Erik and I are just about to reach the 6 yr mark of "WEDDED BLISS' (it truly has been), while some of our friends over the past six years haven't been so "lucky".


This is truly an epidemic.


In 2002, the Census Bureau released the following press release entitled:



Nearly 9-in-10 People May Marry, But Half of First Marriages
May End in Divorce, Census Bureau Says



"Most adults have married only once," said Rose Kreider, co-author of
Number, Timing and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996 [pdf]. "In 1996,

Among people who divorced from their first spouse, the median duration of that marriage was about eight years. Among those who had remarried, the median number of years before they married again was about three.

The median duration of second marriages that ended in divorce was about seven years. (Median is the point below which half lasted a shorter time and above which half were longer.)


I think based on my own calculations from friends that have not made it has averaged down to lasting about 5 years now. I am so sadden by the statistics of divorce amongst my friends and even people in the church.


I continue to pray for all my friends who are married and those that have been divorced, cause it is a devestating thing for a family to go through. I do feel like i need to do more to help change this statistics.


I hate that we as Christ Followers are looking more like the darkness of this world rather than the Light of the World. On one hand we don't want to be religious and seclude our selves from the world cause what would the purpose be in that? But then again we don't want to be so accepting that it be comes so difficult to know the difference between right and wrong...


I truly believe if we Christians start making changes in our lives before during and after we get married like making ourselves really focusing on developing who God wants us to be individually as a single person and a team mentality as a married person the World will want to come to us to see what we are doing RIGHT...


the decision to marry some one shouldn't be taken lightly. when they do get married they should do everything in thier power to:


A ddress


C orrect


T weak


every area of thier lives spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually... PRIOR to even considering to get married. We have such a laissez-faire when it comes to marriage. WE NEED to FINALLY be an example to show everyone that being a believer in Christ has something to it...rather than being just like the rest! We can make and impact on the World...


ok I will quit preaching to the choir i just needed to get these thoughts off my chest!


Pray for us too...Erik and I are in the process of developing a podcast. We want yo have an open forum to discuss issues the plague marriages today. (incidentally we also want to do one on worship and music too but that is still in the preplanning stages)


I really would like to hear some of your thoughts on this topic and any thing that you think Erik and I should discuss on our podcast. Hey I might even phone you in to be one of our Guests!!!!


BTW the book i posted as "Recommended Book" is one of the books Erik and I went through b4 we got hitched. I believe it really helped us get to know each other and our expectations prior to getting married. I do use it as proof to remind Erik of what he said before we got married versus what he is saying now on the subjects we addressed in the book!






Recommended Book:



Preparing for Marriage: A Complete Guide to Help You Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love
By: David Boehi
Release date: October, 1997

1 comment :

  1. Myspace Comments:

    First, how weird. My mom just gave me that book!! Second, great post. Mike & I get a lot of looks & judgmental comments as we've been dating for so many years and we are still "not married." I think you're absolutely right. You need to know as much as possible about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or else you will learn it in a very hard way. I know Mike & I have decided to work out the major kinks BEFORE we take the trip down the aisle and not all of them will be, but we both will feel much more confident at that point if they are dealt with first. I don't want to be a "d word" statistic either. :) Congrats on your upcoming 6 anniv! you are both blessed!!

    Posted by KrisE on Thursday, April 19, 2007 - 11:26 PM


    That's the book Army and I did in our pre-engagement "class." We worked with a couple who'd been together for like 20+ years, and worked through the book. The book MADE us look at important issues AND at expectations...expectations has been the most important part for us in adjusting to married life and communication difficulties.

    We also still refer back to things we said during the time of reading that book. We also enjoyed making a "formal statement" about what we want our marriage and "home" to be like. Army said the other day that marriage has been much more forgiving than he expected. He said he feels that our being quick to forgive one another has been really key to not letting issues become any bigger than they are. I'm thankful for this book and for my marriage.


    Posted by Ranny on Friday, April 20, 2007 - 1:43 PM

    ReplyDelete